She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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