I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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