We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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