I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I know her cup size but not her name....
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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