Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize