We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
