He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
