It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
