help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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