you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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