you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
