I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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