I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
