no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
