Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
