smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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