After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize
