there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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