honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
