Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
