you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Randomize
