if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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