Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
