if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
