I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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