There was a lot of him and a little penis
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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