Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize