I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
