just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
