It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
