People in love make me want to vomit
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
