What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
