Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize