just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
