i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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