I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
