I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
