and you said cock pushups were impossible
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
