did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
