I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
