a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
