she looked like the bat from fern gully.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
