I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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