Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
