So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
