Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
