You're so nebulous sometimes
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize