Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
