I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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