I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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