Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
