i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
