We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
