thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
