I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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