Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
