All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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