East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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