so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
