He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
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the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
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The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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