There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
