I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
